Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
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