i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Randomize
