Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Randomize
