I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
Drunk is a universal language darling
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
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