Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
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