We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
Randomize
