it wasn't lemon gatorade
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
Randomize
