I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
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