so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Randomize
