We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Randomize
