its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
Randomize
