I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
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