i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
Randomize
