it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
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