Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
You called yourself Captain Aspirin and then tried to cure my headache by shoving pills up my nose. Fuck you becoming a nurse, you can't take care of me while you're drunk ever again. Ever.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
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