well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
Randomize
