I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
Randomize
