so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
Randomize
