Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
We're using joints as your birthday candles
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
Randomize
