I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize
