so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
I think i peed on brittanys purse
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
I smell like Dick and happiness
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
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