I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
Randomize
