And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
Randomize
