who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
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