i would punch a child for taco bell
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
Randomize
