Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
being pregnant is like rehab
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
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