According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
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