upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
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