Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
Randomize
