I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
Randomize
