you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
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