So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
Randomize
