we're making bets on your personal life
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
Randomize
