Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
Randomize
