We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
Randomize
