I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
Randomize
