I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
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