pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
I think we might need a safe word for this...
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Randomize
