I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
Nicole vs. Life
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
Randomize
