so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
Acid is not a monday night drug
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
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