He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
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