I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
Randomize
