Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
Randomize
