i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
First drunken handjob: not successful. Second handjob, mostly sober: much better. Nightly news brought to you by me.
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
Randomize
