I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
Randomize
