I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
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