i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
Randomize
