you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
Randomize
