Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
Randomize
