He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Randomize
