So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
