You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
Randomize
