i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
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