I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
Then you guys just all showered together...?
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
Randomize
