I CAN MOONWALK!
'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
