Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
Randomize
