love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.
The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
Randomize
