i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
He uses pillows to masturbate.
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
Randomize
