You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
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